To break the monotony of a long football season, the McRib has returned to McDonald’s. Similarly, to break the monotony of analyzing numbers and rankings of college football, I’m going to do something that my readers have been dying to see me do — I’m going to compare Tim Tebow to the McRib.
One appears before the public eye every so often to display its magical abilities on a national stage … the other is an NFL quarterback.
Tim Tebow was a world-class athlete in college … the McRib never attended college. I’m pretty sure those who enjoy the McRib never went to college, either.
Tim Tebow will cost you $11.25 million over five years … the McRib only costs you $1.99.
Did I mention the effects of Tim Tebow last for five years, according to his contract? The effects of a McRib’s performance won’t stick with you for that long, thankfully.
The McRib can’t take part in Tebowing (seen in the above picture).
Tim Tebow has an army of haters … the McRib has an army of adoration.
You can order, assemble and eat a McRib in less time than Tim Tebow’s throwing motion.
The McRib can’t circumcise your newborn.
Advantage: Tebow … actually … McRib
Tim Tebow’s fans come clad in jorts … McRib fans do, too.
The McRib will eventually fade away, leaving us all wanting more. Tim Tebow will eventually fade away, leaving us saying “Geez, I thought that would never end!”
So in conclusion, I think we can all agree with this basic math:
McRib > Tebow