Tim Tebow vs. the McRib


The McRib can't do this... (AP Photo/Jack Dempsey)

To break the monotony of a long football season, the McRib has returned to McDonald’s. Similarly, to break the monotony of analyzing numbers and rankings of college football, I’m going to do something that my readers have been dying to see me do — I’m going to compare Tim Tebow to the McRib.

More: College football’s top 25, done my way

One appears before the public eye every so often to display its magical abilities on a national stage … the other is an NFL quarterback.
Advantage: McRib

Tim Tebow was a world-class athlete in college … the McRib never attended college. I’m pretty sure those who enjoy the McRib never went to college, either.
Advantage: Tebow

Tim Tebow will cost you $11.25 million over five years … the McRib only costs you $1.99.
Advantage: McRib

Did I mention the effects of Tim Tebow last for five years, according to his contract? The effects of a McRib’s performance won’t stick with you for that long, thankfully.
Advantage: McRib

The McRib can’t take part in Tebowing (seen in the above picture).
Advantage: Tebow

Tim Tebow has an army of haters … the McRib has an army of adoration.
Advantage: McRib

You can order, assemble and eat a McRib in less time than Tim Tebow’s throwing motion.
Advantage: McRib

The McRib can’t circumcise your newborn.
Advantage: Tebow … actually … McRib

Tim Tebow’s fans come clad in jorts … McRib fans do, too.
Advantage: Push

The McRib will eventually fade away, leaving us all wanting more. Tim Tebow will eventually fade away, leaving us saying “Geez, I thought that would never end!”
Advantage: McRib

So in conclusion, I think we can all agree with this basic math:

McRib > Tebow